Bittersweet

Now there is an oxymoron for you - bittersweet. It seems as though everything these days has that bittersweet quality about it..


Take today for example. A beautiful day for a beautiful wedding. The bride looked stunning. The groom suitably nervous and dapper. What a celebration! (sweet)


The (bitter) pill to swallow is that I have never loved in that way and if things carry on like they have -
 I never will.
Maybe some of us are just not meant to get married.


Either way it was a lovely day marred by a short time of self-pity and an embarrassing exit from the church gardens. Everything seemed to overwhelm me. The fact that I haven't been physically well all week didn't help. But - it was more than that. A deep sense of rejection and of being  overlooked grabbed me and I just had to get out of there! I hate it when I loose it since I tend to do a good job of it! Thankfully I took a deep breathe and managed to pull my self together to return and later enjoy the reception.(Thanks to Lauren's coaxing)


They say God knows the right man, time and place. I so wish he would show me even 1 of these mysteries.
If  it is not to be I'd appreciate a clear sign for that too!